takin' pictures with sheep...

Phuuu, it cost plenty of time and nerves to get a pic where I and one of my sheep are mapped... I chosed Anna because she is the wisest and gutsiest one. I tried to bring her in a good position with some dry bread. She was so cormorant, tried to jump on me, was importunate and pulled out all the stops a sheep could make to get some more bread. All had to go very quickly! Certainly all other sheep wanted the bread too, crowded round me, tried to eat my camera, tried to taste my fingers (there could be some traces of bread anyway...), tried to put their nose into the pocket of my coat where I put the bread in, tried to taste my nose and my trousers. In my haste I erroneously took pictures of me alone (because Anna was elsewhere again), Annas ear, my coat and quite often of blurred nothing.

Finally I managed it!!! I got two useful pics out of it... and here's one.

Talking about....

Love...

...the most wonderful issue in the world to concern myself with!

In my point of view there are - roughly speaking - (yes, I as a scientist always have to classify everything) three types of Love... and I think that we as humans require all 3 types of love for being and existing. One type for itself would bring us only down...

The first type is the "sexual Love": that's the bottom level of love. Many people think that they could do any sexual activity (I do not talk here over sex alone, I talk about everything that belongs to it) without feeling anything... I don't believe that!
A little feeling is always there (just in case both want to relish the situation and in case it isn't about a paid activity) and the more feeling (Love) you allow in this situation, the more valuable it will be. But in principle this kind of Love is fairly often found.

The second type is the "dependent Love": this Love can be either dominant or obedient. It's a fact that both love each other, because they need each other and they can not be without each other. One wants to dominate the other and wants to wield power, the other one wants to be guided, gives control and therewith responsibility away to the other beloved person. You can find that often in unhappy relationships and marriges or defective parent-child-relations. But I don't want to say that this kind of love is "bad" by now! It has definitly something to do with exertion, request and dependence.

The third and highest type of love is the "Love without reservation", the Love we strive for, the divined Love. It just gives without asking anything in return. It's there, unlimited big... it's the gift to love a person in exact the way he is, like he is, to love him because he is. It's also the ability to let off and to bestow freedom. Of course this kind of Love askes an adequate handeling and a certain sense of responsibility. Have YOU ever given this Love to someone in your life? I must admit: I haven't in the pure form, but I would admire everyone who is ready to give so much love... if this is possible for a human person anyway!

In real life there are all sorts of mixed Love-forms to find: motherly-love is a mixture of 2nd and 3rd, to a good friend 2nd and 3rd, Love for a mate comprises all types of Love, Love for any short loose-contact perhaps just 1st.
A nice final citation: "True love hears what is not spoken, and understands what is not explained, for love doesn't work in the mouth, nor the mind, but in the heart..."

My current mood: could be better... many changes in my life make my feel losing ground under my feet. I lose the feeling of security, nothing is steady, there is so much where I have put energie in and now it is melting away like snow in spring... I feel some kind of lost and alone.......

"The power of truth" or "the truth about power"

In my last psychological discussion about my personality it's been said: "Amina, you don't have a single idea, how powerful you are! You have lots and lots of power, but you don't use it, why not?"

I concerned myself in this statement. Me, powerful? What exactly is power? What does it mean? Power over what, whom, over others or even myself?
As per wikipedia "power is the ability of individuals or groups to decide (in the way they want) on other individuals' or groups' behavior and thoughts". That sounds great and YESSS... such a power I do really have in a way, not ostensibly authoritarian but profoundly subtle ...is that exactly the way it was meant? I already use this power... or is it about the power over myself? Power over my life, over my plans, the power to know who I am, what I am able to do and the knowledge that I can do everything I want! My truth to live ... what is truth? In my opinion, truth is my sensed experience. Truth has many facets, it lies in the eye of the beholder, anybody has his/her own truth, h/h own perception. My truth affects my life and my power. From this point of view I am the most powerful person in my truth-universe. Wow, a whole universe and I am the central point (the peak!!!). My universe.... but just my universe, individually seen unbelievable huge and still so diminutive centred on one person.
Everybody is powerful, everyone has the power over him/herself to complete h/h life's dream.

A gorgeous thought....... I love my life, live my truth and use my endless power in my all-embracing universe *lol*

Talking about…

...One-Night-Stands (ONS)

an awkward subject, but I'd like to blog my thoughts about it anyhow. I'll try...

In my point of view there are several types of ONS:

the quick-one:
The first type that I want to describe is the one I wouldn't want to have.... the one that passes off very quickly, with a man you have never met before, sympathetic or not doesn't matter. Helpful are a good basis of alcoholic influence as well as long-term abstinence and the intent to end with it as fast as possible.
advantage: it's quite easy to find it - there are good chances on every party or other juvenile conventions to find someone with the same demands. This very spontaneous type of ONS could also probably lead to undivined surprises and never-before-known-situations (positive or negative...)
danger: the one you've found could be very nasty, dislikeable and ignorant so that you don't get anything out of it. Hopefully you are that drunk that you can't remember anything afterwards, otherwise this could get very frustrating - the reason why I'd rather discourage from this sort of ONS.

the planned-one:
Imagine to meet a very handsome and/or charismatic, interesting guy by coincident- the one every woman wants. You do not want to have a relationship with him (reasons can be complex), but he's the one you've ever dreamed of in your undisclosed dreams. And imagine furthermore that you have a little conversation with him, find out that you don't fit with each other but he's good enough for your intention, and make some plans with him over your unsatisfied needs. The next step could happen immediately or some time/days later, planned and both know what will happen between them.
advantage: he's likeable, it's deliberated, chance for a nice and fulfilled night/time is high. Hint: some (not too much) alcohol might heighten your jest of the situation enormously.
disadvantage: hard to find and could be tricky to ask...
danger: you could develop some feelings for the man - Important hint: NEVER allow feelings for a ONS-person! It only leads to disaccords, uncomfortable situations, stress and intricacies!
Apart from that it's the one I can highly recommend!

the recommended-one:
imagine a friend of yours plays your game too and offers to share her favourites with you.
advantage: easy to get, you don't have to talk around the essential point, you know in advance what you'll get, have something to talk about with the friend afterwards
disadvantage: hard to find such a friend
danger: might be complicated with the friend and see important hint at the planned-one.

the repeated-one:
starts where the so-far-described ones end...
advantage: you know exactly what you get and it was great seemingly (otherwise you don't repeat it...), the more you train the better it gets
danger: see important hint at the planned-one! - that's the main reason why I discourage everyone from the repeated-one. In most cases the repeated-one leads to chaos and discord by at least one of the participants. It's better to have fun for one night and keep it in mind as long as desired than to have troubles with unrequested feelings.

Of course there are several other or mixed forms of ONS and of course there’s a chance that ONS (especially the repeated-ones) can lead to relationships and sometimes even marriage… but that’s another story ;-)

Warm welcome

Ok, so this is my new webspace for now. No homepage anymore. There are some good reasons for this rather big change:

Firstly I thought that my website didn't fit anymore to my personality. I got older and more adult so I thought about a big change anyway. And this would cost time and expense which I don't have, so I'd like to try it this way.
Secondly it's good to practice my english again which got horrible worse for the last years. Moreover I'm able to reach more people from other countries... Amina gets international.... that's great and a big challenge for me!

I hope that you all had happy christmas-holidays and that you've found your own appreciation in it, hope you could share these days with people you love in nature or at least in mind.

And of course I hope that the new year 2007 makes all your dreams come true.........